Life Advice and Secrets to Success

The On My Own Handbook, by Bobb Biehl, is a book of advice, principles, secrets, old sayings, and various bits of truth on a wide range of subjects. The subtitle really captures what it is about: 100 secrets of success to prepare young people for life. Though the main intended audience is young people preparing to set off on their own in the world, it is full of advice for any person in any stage of life. Anyone reading will learn a variety of new truths about life. Biehl covers almost every aspect of a person’s life, so to make it easier to follow, he breaks it up into seven main categories of life: family, finance, personal, physical, career, social, and spiritual.

Each category is then broken up into principles. These principles are mini statements that have a point, from tips and tricks of life to secrets of success. With each principle Biehl adds a few questions to think about and an action point to apply to your life. I’m going to go through each main category that the book is broken up by, and I’ll also mention an action point or question which really stood out to me on the topic.

Family/Marriage

The first section of Biehl’s book is on family and marriage. The section covers topics from communication and encouragement to what true partnership should look like, along with respecting the advice of your parents and grandparents. Though we may think we know everything we need to on a certain topic there is always something we can learn. Biehl explains that the older people in our lives have many years of experience they can tell us about; many problems they have worked through which we could learn from. Others around us may have worked through similar issues we are currently facing and have some tips for us. They may have a better idea for how to do something. The central theme presented is to listen to others’ advice and encourage the people around you. Biehl also suggests trying to replace your criticisms for others with encouragement; he says, “Anyone can criticize someone else. It’s easy. It’s simple. It requires no special skill. But it’s just as easy and a lot more rewarding to encourage and instruct” (p.36). Encouragement goes a long way. Don’t just think of what others can do for you but what you can do for others. If all you are able to offer them is encouragement, then offer encouragement. Help your family and let them help you.

Finance

Something not many people like to talk about is finance. The On My Own Handbook covers some financial topics including budgeting, investing, making smart purchases, and savings. Ultimately when we give our life over to God everything we have is His, including our money. When this is your foundation for finances, where you should spend your money becomes clearer. Giving to God’s ministries is an important part of being a good steward of the money He gives you. Biehl states you should “know what it costs you to live and live within your means” (p.53). Being responsible with your money, only spending what you have and can, is very important. We should use what we have been blessed with in a smart, God-honoring way.

Personal

The next section is about your personal life. Success, failure, learning, hard work, creativity, and goals are some of the many topics covered in this section of the book. In life we learn there are many ups as well as many downs. We will succeed in some parts of our lives and fail at others. Hard work is essential, and creativity is essential for many parts of life. Goals are what drives us to where we need to go. Biehl says a “life without goals is like a race without a finish line” (p.128). We need that direction to know what we are working for. Sometimes though, we can’t reach them, and we have to deal with that disappointment. Something which happens through all of our disappointments is we learn. We learn what works, what doesn’t, and we can use these lessons as we go forward in our lives. One of my favorite principles in this section is “Listen to God. Listen to yourself. Listen to trusted family and friends. And ignore the crowd” (p.131). This principle is something which will help you to go in the right direction in your personal life.

Physical

The principles in the physical health section of Biehl’s book covers fitness, health, hygiene, and what you think of your own physical self. Taking care of yourself is important. There are so many different ways to stay active. Find what is the best fit for you and what you enjoy the most and it will make staying active so much easier. “It doesn’t have to involve a big crowd or be competitive at all” (p.149), whatever helps you stay active. Though starting to form healthy habits can be hard at first, after a while it just becomes normal. Start now to form the habits you want, stick with them, and eventually they become second nature.

Career

Something on a lot of teens and young adult’s minds is their career. Where do you want to go to school? What job do you want? Or whether you should move or not. It can be overwhelming sometimes! It can be hard to know what God wants you to do. “When things get overwhelming, make a list of all the things you’ve got to do, put them in order of importance, and start at the top” (p.179). You might be tempted to just do nothing, waiting for God to send a sign or make it 100% obvious what the right choice is, but that isn’t always how He works. We need to take steps, one at a time. We have to get up and start looking at our options. Start researching the schools or the jobs available to you and the ones you would enjoy. It may seem even when you cross out some options you still have too many options left. In one principle Biehl states “deciding what not to do is just as important as deciding what to do” (p.181). When you start walking, God will lead your steps. Some tips given are how to use your time wisely, break tasks down into steps, make decisions, and work on your leadership skills. All of these principles are really important for school as well as jobs. Trust in God to lead you to where He wants you to go, as you take one step ahead at a time.

Social

One of the principles in this section is “the best way to make a good friend is to be a good friend” (p. 216). I think this principle is really important in any relationship. You would probably not enjoy being around someone who is unfriendly, so others would probably feel the same about you. Be the type of person you want to be around and the type of friend you want to have. Focusing not on yourself but instead on the people around you can really build a deeper friendship. Biehl also says when you are making friends you should “concentrate on caring, not just conversation” (p. 211).

Spiritual

The last section of the book covers spiritual topics, from your personal relationship with God to how you live your faith out for others to see. One of my favorite principles from the whole book, and I think one of the shortest, is in this section; it is “God’s timing is perfect” (p. 274). This great principle is something I think everyone needs to be reminded of often. We can get impatient and think when something is not happening now, God has said no. God knows when the perfect time is, so we need to trust His timing. It does not mean everything we want to happen will eventually happen. God knows best and sometimes what we want is not the best. All these principles can be broken down into one main theme: trust God! God knows all, what is best, and when we trust in Him we will know we are safe in His plan. “Be prepared for the fact that life isn’t fair… life is tough… life is full of hard knocks. When these times come, trust God and keep on keeping on” (p.293)!

Final Thoughts

Each section of The On My Own Handbook is full of advice for life. How it was laid out was easy to follow and the writing really kept you engaged. I really liked thinking through the questions at the end of each principle and reflecting on the action point. These two aspects really helped me connect the principles to my own life and helped me dig into the meaning more. All these aspects of The On My Own Handbook come together to form a book of advice, with questions to think about, and action points to apply to your life.

*All quotes are taken from The On My Own Handbook by Bobb Biehl.

A blog post by Lindsay Brunt

March 17, 2023.